April 2012...Chris and I started foster parenting classes. We thought that if it was not in God's perfect plan for us to become foster parents...then at some point during these classes....something would happen to shut the door! It is windy here in Midland, Texas....REALLY windy! And as the classes kept going...we kept waiting for the door to blow closed. Like...come on massive dust bowl wind storm....blow this baby closed! But it didn't!
June 2012, we became licensed in the State of Texas as foster parents. WHAT ARE WE DOING??? Well...at the end of June...here came the call and our first little bundle was delivered to our doorstop. This little nugget was a BEAUTIFUL 5 day old princess from the hospital...and we were in LOVE! Now...mind you....we've never been parents before, so we had some pretty steep learning curves to over-come (as in...Chris had never changed a diaper), but we were in love!
However, through a variety of unforseen circumstances, our little nugget left our home after only 3 weeks. We were heart-broken, as we were led to believe this little girl had a strong possiblity of remaining in our home forever. I still look at her pictures...I still think about what it was like to hold her in the middle of the night! She was our first....and we will never forget her. We will always wonder about her...and hope that her future is bright! We will continue to pray that she is being taught of God's love for her so that she might grow up a beautiful, Godly woman!
Those next few weeks were rough! My arms were longing to hold a baby. My heart was aching and my head was, once again, questioning what my purpose was here in Midland, Texas. Why God...do you not want me to be a mother? Or do you? Or don't you? Can you text me? Or send me an email and let me know?
Little did I know...I was evolving! I was changing....growing....seeking Him more and more through this uncertain time in my life. And through seeking him...I began to find such peace. Peace that God's plan is perfect, and he will reveal that plan in His perfect time. I NEVER thought I could be one of those people....that was comfortable with believing the TRUTH in that statement....but, I can NOW say that I am.
Now...I slip up, and have days (many, MANY days) of questioning and doubt, frustation and heartache. BUT...I am always able to come back to a place where my faith takes over and I can rest in His peace.
6 weeks had passed since "Nugget" had left our home, and while I was definitely wanting my arms, heart, and home full again, I was much more comfortable with the day to day...and the wait! And...just as though God was calling on the phone to say..."Girl...I told you I would NEVER leave you or let you down"...the phone rang, and we were once again asked to step up to the plate and foster a child in need!
ENTER "TANK"!
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