So, this week has been anything but encouraging and uplifting. In fact, I'm not sure I have had a week that tested my faith to this extent....since Cambryn (our first foster child) was removed from our home. I was called last week (out of the blue) by an anesthesia group here in Midland that has a position available. They wanted me to come interview!! Now...for those that don't know, I have been unable to find full-time work in my own town since we moved here 2 1/2 years ago...so, this felt like a gift from God being handed right down out of the sky.
However, my initial reaction was....let me talk to my husband and pray about it. I spent the first year here in Midland confused....wondering what my purpose was here. I couldn't get work...and didn't feel like I had much purpose other than to be a supportive wife of a spouse in ministry. I was lost, frustrated...and at times, depressed. Then, began our whirl-wind trip down parenthood lane...and suddenly, God opened my eyes to his perfect plan. Part-time work....full-time mommy! AWESOME! Additionally, I was really starting to have a strong pull at our church into additional ministries and outreach opportunities, and felt God was directing me to step up in these roles. I love missions and outreach...so, it was perfect.
So....when the full time job opportunity presented itself....I was like..."Ummm, God, give a girl a bone. Is this what you want?" After discussion, and prayer, and the support of husband, I decided to go for it. A door had been opened, and Chris and I have always believed that you must walk through the door in order to discern God's plan. Job interview went fine as far as I was concerned. Felt fairly natural.....and comfortable. "We are still interviewing and will call you in a week or so." Well...the call came at 8am the next morning...and the caller said "You aren't the candidate we are looking for. I'm sorry."
Well, for someone that wasn't even sure she was being led into full time work....I took this as an excruciating punch in the gut. I pride myself on being an excellent practioner and a great co-worker who is dedicated, works hard, and is a shit-ton of fun to work with!!! So...it felt personal! And what made it feel even more personal??? This group of anesthesia providers kind of controls the rest of the employment opportunities in town....so now, I've essentially been black-balled from working in the town in which I live. The wind was knocked from my sail....the storm had come in...and I felt like I was drowning.
But let me show you why I chose to believe in an amazing God....who makes my path straight! Let me explain why I'm making the decision to praise Him and give Him thanks during this trial. In the few short days since my interview and disappointing news, I have been reached via text, Facebook, devotional, and generalized reading with the messages I have re-captured for you below. I was not searching for these words...I was not actively seeking encouragement or words to lift me up (in fact...quite the opposite). These are simply the scheduled readings for my day....or a loving text....or someone else's post on Facebook. He speaks (sometimes more loudly than we realize)....and we should listen!!!
My God. In whom are all the springs of boundless love and grace unknown, hide me beneath Your spreading wings, til the dark cloud has blown over ~Prayer by Isaac Watts (Thanks mom...I love you!).
God NEVER stops building our faith. The day is coming when the things that scare you today will seem like no big deal. ~Christine Caine (Thanks Hallie for this quote).
As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better. ~ Author unknown (Thanks for sharing Deborah!)
"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord , have never forsaken those who seek you. "~Psalm 9:9, 10 NIV. (Thanks for reminding me of this great verse Shannon!)
This is difficult for us because we want the assurance not just of needs being met today, but we would like to know that tomorrow is going to be ok, and the next day too if we can. Trusting in God, though, often involves placing the future in God's hands and taking hold of what God has for us today. (From The God Story by Jacob Armstrong which is the Lenten study book we are reading at church).
Exert your will to trust Me in all circumstances. Don’t let your need to understand distract you from My Presence. I will equip you to get through this day victoriously, as you live in deep dependence on Me. Tomorrow is busy worrying about itself; don’t get tangled up in its worry-webs. Trust Me one day at a time. O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you. ~Psalm 84:12 (From my devotional the day after I was told I didn't get the job).
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Saturday, March 15, 2014
I know you don't mean to be....but it is hurtful!
There is a new blog post going around right now...
You Shouldn’t Need A Reason For Not Having Kids | Thought Catalog
After reading this great blog post....I decided I wanted to weigh in on the subject.
While our life has undergone a drastic change, and we are now a family of four, and the parents of two beautiful children.....this was not always the case, nor was I even sure it would ever be the case.
After Chris and I got married, it was several years before we decided to take the plunge, and give infertility treatments a try. We knew that growing our family through traditional means was going to be difficult, and there was even a chance of it being plain impossible. It was a difficult, painful few years, and even though I was usually very open with folks about our journey....it was a private journey.
Prior to this decision....we spent the first 7-8 years of our marriage sans children. And contrary to modern public belief, those years without children....and not trying to have children, were great! We were not deprived....we were not sad....there was nothing missing! We had chosen to be an amazing married couple....living a spectacular life. However, despite our personal, PRIVATE decision to be "DINKS" (dual income no kids)....people felt the need to ask us about this decision. They felt the need to question our choice....wanting reasons and rationales. They often voiced un-solicited opinions....that included statements like:
"Oh...you guys need to get on it. The time is now!"
OR
"What are you waiting on? You will be awesome parents."
OR
"Why would you NOT want to be parents."
Still, today, as a parent of two...I can not, for the life of me....understand WHY people would think this issue is their business. Why would an individual think it their duty to question a couple's (or an individual's for that matter) decision to not have children? Why would someone think it would be okay to infringe on a person's most personal and private part of their life? I DON'T GET IT!
Now...let's move to the years following our painful journey known as "Infertility Treatments". After many failed attempts, and several years of painful, heartbreaking disappointment....we made a very PRIVATE decision, as a couple, to stop treatments and embrace our life! Embrace our life as a successful, happy married couple with other goals, dreams, and aspirations....that did not include children. The questions from folks...once again, began to surface.
"Why are you stopping? Don't you want to be parents?"
OR
"Why don't you just adopt? There are lots of kids that need to be adopted."
OR
"How can you just give up? You need to be parents."
OR
"Don't give up on your dream. Just go to Africa and get a kid."
SERIOUSLY PEOPLE??? In what other area of life.....would you think it would ever, EVER be ok to ask such personal questions. Questions that re-open the wounds of failed fertility treatments. Questions that bring forth embarrassment, guilt, shame, and sadness. This is NOT OKAY!
If there was such a thing as the "Sensitivity Police"....an officer would need to be called each and every time. If a couple has made a decision to stop treatments...and has made a decision to embrace their life without kids....that is a decision they made after hours of emotional discussions and tears. They did not come to this decision lightly, or without extensive consideration. TRUST ME! Handle these folks with utmost respect and sensitivity....as the wounds stay raw, even after years have passed. Sometimes....even after they have been able to successfully grow their family.
Here is a suggestion....from one who has been there! This is how the conversation should go:
Person: So, do you guys have kids?
Couple: Nope.
Person: Cool. So, how long have you lived in (enter city here)?
This is the honest truth....there are three reasons couples don't have children. They can't have them....or they aren't ready to have them at this time....or they aren't interested in having them. That simple! Either way....it's a personal, PRIVATE issues....and you aren't aloud to ask WHY!
You Shouldn’t Need A Reason For Not Having Kids | Thought Catalog
After reading this great blog post....I decided I wanted to weigh in on the subject.
While our life has undergone a drastic change, and we are now a family of four, and the parents of two beautiful children.....this was not always the case, nor was I even sure it would ever be the case.
After Chris and I got married, it was several years before we decided to take the plunge, and give infertility treatments a try. We knew that growing our family through traditional means was going to be difficult, and there was even a chance of it being plain impossible. It was a difficult, painful few years, and even though I was usually very open with folks about our journey....it was a private journey.
Prior to this decision....we spent the first 7-8 years of our marriage sans children. And contrary to modern public belief, those years without children....and not trying to have children, were great! We were not deprived....we were not sad....there was nothing missing! We had chosen to be an amazing married couple....living a spectacular life. However, despite our personal, PRIVATE decision to be "DINKS" (dual income no kids)....people felt the need to ask us about this decision. They felt the need to question our choice....wanting reasons and rationales. They often voiced un-solicited opinions....that included statements like:
"Oh...you guys need to get on it. The time is now!"
OR
"What are you waiting on? You will be awesome parents."
OR
"Why would you NOT want to be parents."
Still, today, as a parent of two...I can not, for the life of me....understand WHY people would think this issue is their business. Why would an individual think it their duty to question a couple's (or an individual's for that matter) decision to not have children? Why would someone think it would be okay to infringe on a person's most personal and private part of their life? I DON'T GET IT!
Now...let's move to the years following our painful journey known as "Infertility Treatments". After many failed attempts, and several years of painful, heartbreaking disappointment....we made a very PRIVATE decision, as a couple, to stop treatments and embrace our life! Embrace our life as a successful, happy married couple with other goals, dreams, and aspirations....that did not include children. The questions from folks...once again, began to surface.
"Why are you stopping? Don't you want to be parents?"
OR
"Why don't you just adopt? There are lots of kids that need to be adopted."
OR
"How can you just give up? You need to be parents."
OR
"Don't give up on your dream. Just go to Africa and get a kid."
SERIOUSLY PEOPLE??? In what other area of life.....would you think it would ever, EVER be ok to ask such personal questions. Questions that re-open the wounds of failed fertility treatments. Questions that bring forth embarrassment, guilt, shame, and sadness. This is NOT OKAY!
If there was such a thing as the "Sensitivity Police"....an officer would need to be called each and every time. If a couple has made a decision to stop treatments...and has made a decision to embrace their life without kids....that is a decision they made after hours of emotional discussions and tears. They did not come to this decision lightly, or without extensive consideration. TRUST ME! Handle these folks with utmost respect and sensitivity....as the wounds stay raw, even after years have passed. Sometimes....even after they have been able to successfully grow their family.
Here is a suggestion....from one who has been there! This is how the conversation should go:
Person: So, do you guys have kids?
Couple: Nope.
Person: Cool. So, how long have you lived in (enter city here)?
This is the honest truth....there are three reasons couples don't have children. They can't have them....or they aren't ready to have them at this time....or they aren't interested in having them. That simple! Either way....it's a personal, PRIVATE issues....and you aren't aloud to ask WHY!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)