I would imagine I was probably working in San Angelo....providing anesthesia for someone who needed surgery. I was probably counting down the hours for when I could "clock out" and get back home to Chris. I was probably looking over Christmas lists and grocery lists....wondering how I was going to get it all done before Christmas.
We were in the middle of our first December back in Texas. Our first December with Chris as the music director at St Luke's UMC. Our first December...where the season not only brings joy and thanksgiving, but also a new-found stress and anxiety that comes with being in ministry during this wonderful time of the year.
On December 18, 2011, I had no idea....that a very special event was taking place. I had no idea that what was going on in a hospital in the next town over....was going to change our lives forever. I had no idea that my son was being born!
No....I wasn't there the day he entered into this world. No....I didn't hold him on my chest right after he took his first breath. No...Chris and I didn't gaze into each other's tear filled eyes as he cried his first cry. No...I don't have floods of pictures from the moments directly after his birth. And sometimes, I feel a sense of morning, or loss....that I wasn't able to experience this moment with my son.
But....on the day Cristian entered into this world, God was preparing my mind and soul to realize He had plans for our lives, and these plans included a very special child. And as Cristian was laid on his birth mom's chest, God was already growing and stretching my own heart within my chest....to be ready to love this little miracle that would enter our lives. And as others were there to hear his first cry, I spent much of Christmas crying tears of longing and anticipation....because I knew that God needed us to go beyond what was comfortable and safe. He needed us to love one of His children that we did not yet know, but for whom we had prayed for many years.
It was during the family Christmas Eve service 2 years ago....6 days after Cristian was born, that God spoke to me....through the families taking communion. He told me that there was a child....a child that would need us. He told me that a child would enter our lives, change us forever, and make our family whole.
William Cristian Vaught...my Christmas miracle, I love you! I've loved you and prayed for you long before you entered this world. And even though I was not there on this day 2 years ago, please know always....that you hold my heart forever! Happy 2nd Birthday little man! I'm honored and humbled that God chose me to be your momma! I love you!
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